My health, my husband’s health, and my friends and family’s health. My mental state, which has fluctuated between being positive and good and then completely in a puddle of tears. I think we all are collectively at a loss. We’ve lost everything that keeps us stable. To lose everything at once–it’s one thing to lose your job, and it’s another thing to also lose all social contact and seeing your friends and your physical means of [getting through it] or whatever those things are. I think that’s kind of the most important thing right now; each other.
What was most important to you before you had to social distance?
We were in the last few months of the show and we were all really excited about the possibilities of what was going to happen in the future with the show. Being with each other and enjoying the last three months. Literally the Tuesday we left we were like “we’re exactly three months away from closing. We’re going to cherish single day we have here and be grateful every single day!” and then it was just over.
What’s the first thing you’ll do when this is over?
Probably immediately go to a group fitness class and then go to the biggest brunch ever and physically see and hug all my friends.
What are you doing to pass the time?
We’ve watched a lot of television. We finished Succession. Now we’re in the middle of Tiger King, which is insane. I wish we were being more productive. I haven’t had the gumption to do that. It’s amazing on one level and on the other hand it isn’t the real thing. Part of what makes performance beautiful is congregating together and that mutual shared experience that we all have. No matter what I’m singing online into my phone, we’re still not together. We’re all just grieving this huge change, but at the same time, nobody our age has ever been asked to go to war or do anything that’s been a group sacrifice for society. So if this is what it is, I guess it could be a lot worse considering what our ancestors went through.
What makes you happy right now?
Cuddling my dogs and FaceTiming with people that I love.
What would you tell yourself two months ago with the knowledge you have today?
It would probably be about gratitude and really taking in every experience and not worrying about the future. We never enjoy exactly where we are because we’re worried about the next step. We were all worried about getting our next job, and what we were going to do when the show ended, and now I would just give anything to be in my dressing room, be in the daily grind of that show, and getting to share that experience with all of the people that I love at work. We’re always too tired to do anything–I would have probably carved out more time to go to dinner out in public with Matt instead of sitting on the couch. If only we’d had the foresight.